Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell…

I’m sure most families have the tradition of handing down things to the next generation. There are family recipes, heirlooms, photos and so many other things we as families want remembered, so that we can keep track of where we come from and where we are going. What I have noticed is that families are not passing down enough information about our health. We tend to want to let each person figure it out or wait until they have the issue before we speak on it. In particular I have found that we as women don’t pass down enough information, it’s like experiencing pain is some right of passage so we don’t tell each other how to navigate what we all go through as women. This lesson I am sure comes from a long time belief that discussing the issues of the female organs are somehow taboo. When in actuality if we would just have these discussions we could save ourselves some heartache and pain and truly enjoy all parts of being a woman.

I am a 41 year old mother of 3, as I get closer to the time of menopause I have had so many questions. Not just the questions I have for my doctor but questions for the women who have entered this state before me, my family and friends. All I have heard in return are the horror stories of what I will experience and when it happens I will know. My question is if you’ve experienced a horrible time why not talk about it, why not be willing to share those woes and offer some form of relief if possible. I know I’m not the only woman who has wanted to have these conversations, but didn’t know where to begin. And I get it, some of these conversations can be hard and uncomfortable. Life can be hard and uncomfortable so why not offer some support.

I really want to know what stops us from talking about orgasms, masturbation, periods, menopause, sexuality, sex, hygiene, and the many more examples I am sure you are thinking of right now. We have to have these conversations, we have to stop being embarrassed and get down to the real of what is going on with us as females or we will forever be trapped in an endless cycle of bumping our heads trying to learn lessons that should have been taught to us by the women in our family. There is nothing taboo about pleasure, why don’t we talk about it?! It’s like maybe one day you’ll achieve it, but if not you know what someone else suffered through so be happy with that. Nah sis! Give me the details, let’s get on board with getting to the topics we so desperately want to discuss but have been shamed into remaining quiet.

I’m asking and I’m telling! Ladies, it’s time we put a stop to this and start to help ourselves, our daughters, mothers, aunts, nieces, and sista friends. It’s time to SPARK some conversation that will blaze a trail to freedom. Will you join me? Think about something you’ve always wanted to discuss but were shamed into thinking you shouldn’t talk about it. Start with yourself and then branch out and help others.

3 thoughts on “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell…

  1. I agree. Either our families don’t talk about it or don’t explain it in detail. Health history is important and you should be able to give the most accurate details to your healthcare provider. Unfortunately, some can not and that is a problem. Sex…that was not a regular conversation.

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