black women, health, parenting, self care, women

Know Nik November: Mommy Needs A Moment!

Stay ready you don’t have to get ready! I hear that a lot and as a mom I tend to overthink, over prepare, under prepare, whatever it is sometimes I just need a moment to breathe! Now before you go and say why become a mother anyway, DO NOT GO THERE…Before I was a mom and still to this day I am human. In thinking that there are other moms out there like me, that need a moment, this weekend I decided to host my first “Mommy Needs A Moment” event. I invited mothers from all walks of life to join me for an evening of enjoying themselves, no strings attached, just come as you are and take a moment. There was food, music, drinks, and laughs a whole lot of laughs!

The thought behind hosting this was that we as moms often forget to take moments to ourselves, we don’t feel deserving of moments, or we feel ashamed for taking a moment. I shared with the moms my journey in learning to take time for myself, holding myself accountable for doing so, and teaching my children to take their own moments. We then went around the table and the moms shared why they did or did not take time for themselves and what they did or didn’t do during this time.

I believe my purpose in life is to help moms, encourage them, empower them to be the best version of themselves. There’s a lot of pressure in this world to be perfect in everything we do. We fall short every day and who are others to judge or shame us for doing so. Just One Hot Mom has always been a safe space for me to write about my motherhood journey, to admit my flaws, share some laughs and lessons. Sometimes all it takes it a moment to get ourselves together, to become grounded, to recognize we need help. Sometimes even more we need someone to tell us that it’s okay to do so. “Mommy Needs A Moment” is a movement for moms by this mom. This is the start of a realization that we can be our best selves if we just step back and take some time.

If you would like to bring “Mommy Needs A Moment” to your city I am ready to hit the road. This experience does not just happen then leave you once the night is over, there is a 15 day journal that you can utilize after the event to help you start taking your moments or enjoying your moments. To connect send an email to justonehotmom@gmail.com with the subject “Mommy Needs A Moment” or call 216.220.7223.

I look forward to many more moments with each of you.

parenting

Tune in!!

Here are a few of my favorite guest and podcast episodes from the last year. I appreciate all my guest giving me the opportunity to share their story. Tune in! Click the links!

No Longer Powerless Featuring Sharone ThomasNo Longer Powerless Promo

Policing Our Communities Featuring Jamaal Ansaripolicing our communities

#BOSSMOM Featuring Sherita Carthonbossmom

Dating After Divorce Featuring Clotea Mackdating after divorce

Donnie Lynee Artist SpotlightDonnie Lynee Promo

parenting

The Blame Game!

Blame-01-758x342So…I received a video from someone I consider a “friend”. The video was titled “Single Black Mothers Created the Modern Day Ghetto,” catchy title right. Normally I would not entertain such ignorance but because, remember I said I received this from someone I consider a “friend” thought it might have a message he felt I needed to hear. Needless to say IT DID NOT!!! I won’t post the video because the profanity and ignorance that shines through makes me physically ill. I will however address it.

Throughout the video the narrator degrades black women calling them all forms of profanities, and the black children we raised are apparently profanities and apes as well. Every now and again you get one of these so-called angry militants who instead of coming up with a solution will just lay blame and take no responsibility, I took his video as just that, but what disturbed me was the comments. WHY DO WE AS A PEOPLE HAVE TO BLAME SOMEONE FOR WHAT WE ALL HAVE DONE! We are all guilty of not being willing participants in forming constructive ways to parent, build up our communities, give back, mentor, and trust each other. This was something we learned and instead of changing our mindset we blame each other. Thus the cycle of not owning our part continues and rants like this get viewed and like, arguments get started with no real resolution. My suggestion STOP BLAMING EACH OTHER!!!!!! We’ve done enough damage with the blame game it’s time that we offer some apologies and get to fixing our communities.

As a black woman raising a black son I’m offended that we all get lumped into one category, BITTER B*TCHES! Forgive the language but it’s the truth. Or at least my truth. I can’t possibly raise a man because I’m not one and how dare I not give my son access to men like this who claim they can make him a man. Let me address two things, 1. I am not a man so therefore have no knowledge of what it is like to be one, I am however a decent human being and I know how to raise a productive member of society. 2. Just because you are a man doesn’t mean you are any better at teaching my son to be a man. But guess what I’M NOT BLAMING YOU!!

In my opinion instead of blaming each other let’s take the initiative with all the young people in our lives male or female and show them how to lead, how to contribute, how to change society, how to build, how to exist with each other. What a wonderful world we would live in if that were the seed that was planted.

So my people what are you going to do? You have two options, 1. take the cowards way and blame someone else, 2. stand up and become someone in your community these young people can look to for guidance. The choice is yours!

parenting

You Are the HOTTEST Mom!

denee greathouseThere are so many amazing women, doing amazing things, living extraordinary lives. I think we can all agree with that. There are a few that stay behind the scenes, performing miracles all around us and we will never meet them, but they do these things for us because of who they are. This HOT MAMA Ms. Denee Greathouse does all that and so much more.

Denee as long as I’ve known you, you have always been selfless. You are not only my great friend for over 30 years, but someone I truly admire. I have witnessed you give and expect nothing in return, you are hilarious even in situations where it’s hard to find humor. We affectionately call you “Granny” because your spirit is that of a grandmother, giving wisdom, correction, and love to those around you.

So Denee aka Granny, you are the HOTTEST MOM! May the love you show to others be returned to you 100-fold!

parenting

You Are the HOTTEST MOM!

acceptance-3-1314927I really didn’t know how to start this post off. The moms I am about to acknowledge in no way shape or form wanted to be a part of the group that they are. I can’t imagine sitting at work, viewing the news to find out my child’s school is under siege. I can’t imagine receiving the phone call that I need to come to the police station because my child has been involved in an incident. No mom/parent asked to be a part of the group I am acknowledging, these moms need all our thoughts and prayers. The HOTTEST MOMS are those who lost their children due to senseless violence.

2018 isn’t even half way in and the news reports are riddled with teen gunned down, school shooting, fight leads to death and so forth and so on. All this senseless violence being committed by children against other children and adults that don’t want to take responsibility for their actions. It’s heartbreaking. We as a community grieve, demand change and get to go on with our lives until the next “incident” in the meantime these mothers are left to grieve for their child, for the future of that child, for the lost time.

To every mother who has lost a child due to this senseless violence in our communities I salute and offer my deepest condolences to you. May we as a community not fail you in seeking the change we need universally to get justice for your children, YOU ARE THE HOTTEST MOMS!