parenting

Tune in!!

Here are a few of my favorite guest and podcast episodes from the last year. I appreciate all my guest giving me the opportunity to share their story. Tune in! Click the links!

No Longer Powerless Featuring Sharone ThomasNo Longer Powerless Promo

Policing Our Communities Featuring Jamaal Ansaripolicing our communities

#BOSSMOM Featuring Sherita Carthonbossmom

Dating After Divorce Featuring Clotea Mackdating after divorce

Donnie Lynee Artist SpotlightDonnie Lynee Promo

parenting

The Blame Game!

Blame-01-758x342So…I received a video from someone I consider a “friend”. The video was titled “Single Black Mothers Created the Modern Day Ghetto,” catchy title right. Normally I would not entertain such ignorance but because, remember I said I received this from someone I consider a “friend” thought it might have a message he felt I needed to hear. Needless to say IT DID NOT!!! I won’t post the video because the profanity and ignorance that shines through makes me physically ill. I will however address it.

Throughout the video the narrator degrades black women calling them all forms of profanities, and the black children we raised are apparently profanities and apes as well. Every now and again you get one of these so-called angry militants who instead of coming up with a solution will just lay blame and take no responsibility, I took his video as just that, but what disturbed me was the comments. WHY DO WE AS A PEOPLE HAVE TO BLAME SOMEONE FOR WHAT WE ALL HAVE DONE! We are all guilty of not being willing participants in forming constructive ways to parent, build up our communities, give back, mentor, and trust each other. This was something we learned and instead of changing our mindset we blame each other. Thus the cycle of not owning our part continues and rants like this get viewed and like, arguments get started with no real resolution. My suggestion STOP BLAMING EACH OTHER!!!!!! We’ve done enough damage with the blame game it’s time that we offer some apologies and get to fixing our communities.

As a black woman raising a black son I’m offended that we all get lumped into one category, BITTER B*TCHES! Forgive the language but it’s the truth. Or at least my truth. I can’t possibly raise a man because I’m not one and how dare I not give my son access to men like this who claim they can make him a man. Let me address two things, 1. I am not a man so therefore have no knowledge of what it is like to be one, I am however a decent human being and I know how to raise a productive member of society. 2. Just because you are a man doesn’t mean you are any better at teaching my son to be a man. But guess what I’M NOT BLAMING YOU!!

In my opinion instead of blaming each other let’s take the initiative with all the young people in our lives male or female and show them how to lead, how to contribute, how to change society, how to build, how to exist with each other. What a wonderful world we would live in if that were the seed that was planted.

So my people what are you going to do? You have two options, 1. take the cowards way and blame someone else, 2. stand up and become someone in your community these young people can look to for guidance. The choice is yours!

parenting

You Are the HOTTEST Mom!

denee greathouseThere are so many amazing women, doing amazing things, living extraordinary lives. I think we can all agree with that. There are a few that stay behind the scenes, performing miracles all around us and we will never meet them, but they do these things for us because of who they are. This HOT MAMA Ms. Denee Greathouse does all that and so much more.

Denee as long as I’ve known you, you have always been selfless. You are not only my great friend for over 30 years, but someone I truly admire. I have witnessed you give and expect nothing in return, you are hilarious even in situations where it’s hard to find humor. We affectionately call you “Granny” because your spirit is that of a grandmother, giving wisdom, correction, and love to those around you.

So Denee aka Granny, you are the HOTTEST MOM! May the love you show to others be returned to you 100-fold!

parenting

You Are the HOTTEST MOM!

acceptance-3-1314927I really didn’t know how to start this post off. The moms I am about to acknowledge in no way shape or form wanted to be a part of the group that they are. I can’t imagine sitting at work, viewing the news to find out my child’s school is under siege. I can’t imagine receiving the phone call that I need to come to the police station because my child has been involved in an incident. No mom/parent asked to be a part of the group I am acknowledging, these moms need all our thoughts and prayers. The HOTTEST MOMS are those who lost their children due to senseless violence.

2018 isn’t even half way in and the news reports are riddled with teen gunned down, school shooting, fight leads to death and so forth and so on. All this senseless violence being committed by children against other children and adults that don’t want to take responsibility for their actions. It’s heartbreaking. We as a community grieve, demand change and get to go on with our lives until the next “incident” in the meantime these mothers are left to grieve for their child, for the future of that child, for the lost time.

To every mother who has lost a child due to this senseless violence in our communities I salute and offer my deepest condolences to you. May we as a community not fail you in seeking the change we need universally to get justice for your children, YOU ARE THE HOTTEST MOMS!

 

parenting

“The Talk”

As my son sits on the couch I’m not sure what to say. There are so many things I need to tell him. I need him to understand that this talk we are about to have is one that will save his life. I need him to know that he needs to take me seriously, he needs to absorb this information like a sponge and carry it with him every where he goes. I’m about to have “The Talk!” with my son.

As parents we will have plenty of talks with our children. There is a talk for just about everything they go through, as their parent we have to become the expert to introduce them to the information they need. This past week Black-ish and Grey’s Anatomy brought to light “The Talk” African-American parents have had to give there children since birth. “The Talk” brings to light how African American young men are viewed by society/police and as of late we’ve had to begin giving this same conversation to our daughters. It’s a sad but true fact police brutality is alive and well in our community. “The Talk” is real in our homes, it’s not something we joke about, it’s not something that we are being dramatic about, the fact is just like parents in other cultures we want our kids to go out into the world and be the best them they can be and we want them to come back home and tell of their adventures and how they plan to conquer the world and achieve their goals. All too often though African American children/adults are not making it home to tell these stories. Between street violence and police brutality we are losing more of us with each passing day.

Now some will say that we kill each other everyday, this would not be a lie. Street violence has and still is running rampant in our communities. Due to poverty, lack of parental supervision, generational gaps, our communities have been plagued by violence. We give this talk to our children as well. The difference between street violence and police brutality is that the police take an oath to protect and serve, that oath of protecting and serving does not say I have be a specific ethnicity, it’s suppose to cover us all. BUT IT DOES NOT! Lack of training, racism, lack of African Americans taking the police exam, contribute to our children not making it home to tell their stories. It’s disheartening that this is still a talk I have to give and unless things change drastically I will have to give this talk to my youngest daughter as well.

My talk- 1. Listen to each of their commands and follow them, 2. Answer questions that are asked about your biographical information, questions beyond that ask them to call your parent. DO NOT TALK TO THEM WITHOUT ME, 3. If you need to move tell them what you are doing with each motion, let them know what you are about to touch and why, 4. DO NOT SPEAK WITH ANGER, 5. In the silence of your mind say a prayer and ask God to help you make it home safely.

This may seem like common sense, but just imagine as a child having someone point a gun at you, asking you questions, accusing you, maybe even threatening you, would you know what to do? I’m not looking for sympathy, I’m looking for people to wake up and realize that we are not equal and until we address these issues in our communities we will never be equal. My hope is to spark conversation about how we can change so that this talk becomes unnecessary. Until then leave in the comments how you have handled talks in your family.

(Grey’s Anatomy- S14 E10 Personal Jesus, Black-ish- S4E12 Bow Knows)