parenting

Tune in!!

Here are a few of my favorite guest and podcast episodes from the last year. I appreciate all my guest giving me the opportunity to share their story. Tune in! Click the links!

No Longer Powerless Featuring Sharone ThomasNo Longer Powerless Promo

Policing Our Communities Featuring Jamaal Ansaripolicing our communities

#BOSSMOM Featuring Sherita Carthonbossmom

Dating After Divorce Featuring Clotea Mackdating after divorce

Donnie Lynee Artist SpotlightDonnie Lynee Promo

parenting

“The Talk”

As my son sits on the couch I’m not sure what to say. There are so many things I need to tell him. I need him to understand that this talk we are about to have is one that will save his life. I need him to know that he needs to take me seriously, he needs to absorb this information like a sponge and carry it with him every where he goes. I’m about to have “The Talk!” with my son.

As parents we will have plenty of talks with our children. There is a talk for just about everything they go through, as their parent we have to become the expert to introduce them to the information they need. This past week Black-ish and Grey’s Anatomy brought to light “The Talk” African-American parents have had to give there children since birth. “The Talk” brings to light how African American young men are viewed by society/police and as of late we’ve had to begin giving this same conversation to our daughters. It’s a sad but true fact police brutality is alive and well in our community. “The Talk” is real in our homes, it’s not something we joke about, it’s not something that we are being dramatic about, the fact is just like parents in other cultures we want our kids to go out into the world and be the best them they can be and we want them to come back home and tell of their adventures and how they plan to conquer the world and achieve their goals. All too often though African American children/adults are not making it home to tell these stories. Between street violence and police brutality we are losing more of us with each passing day.

Now some will say that we kill each other everyday, this would not be a lie. Street violence has and still is running rampant in our communities. Due to poverty, lack of parental supervision, generational gaps, our communities have been plagued by violence. We give this talk to our children as well. The difference between street violence and police brutality is that the police take an oath to protect and serve, that oath of protecting and serving does not say I have be a specific ethnicity, it’s suppose to cover us all. BUT IT DOES NOT! Lack of training, racism, lack of African Americans taking the police exam, contribute to our children not making it home to tell their stories. It’s disheartening that this is still a talk I have to give and unless things change drastically I will have to give this talk to my youngest daughter as well.

My talk- 1. Listen to each of their commands and follow them, 2. Answer questions that are asked about your biographical information, questions beyond that ask them to call your parent. DO NOT TALK TO THEM WITHOUT ME, 3. If you need to move tell them what you are doing with each motion, let them know what you are about to touch and why, 4. DO NOT SPEAK WITH ANGER, 5. In the silence of your mind say a prayer and ask God to help you make it home safely.

This may seem like common sense, but just imagine as a child having someone point a gun at you, asking you questions, accusing you, maybe even threatening you, would you know what to do? I’m not looking for sympathy, I’m looking for people to wake up and realize that we are not equal and until we address these issues in our communities we will never be equal. My hope is to spark conversation about how we can change so that this talk becomes unnecessary. Until then leave in the comments how you have handled talks in your family.

(Grey’s Anatomy- S14 E10 Personal Jesus, Black-ish- S4E12 Bow Knows)

Uncategorized

Being Nanekia…The Rant

CONSENTI know I said that June was strictly dedicated to the daddies, but I wouldn’t be me if I held this back so here it goes. On my personal Facebook Page I had a mini rant about this despicable creep Brock Turner.  In case you are hiding under a rock this is the sadistic creep who raped an unconscious woman behind a dumpster and I believe he would have left her for dead, if not for two strangers that caught him in the act and detained him.  These two individuals held this animal until authorities arrived and were able to take him into custody.  I salute these two individuals as they appear to be with a select few people holding this person accountable and made him face what he had done by not allowing him to run.  The victim in this case, in my opinion, has not received justice, instead she was gut punched with the truth that the system has failed yet another victim.

As the mother of a young lady that is of college age this is very scary. I know we teach our kids at home how to watch for danger, we teach them to be smart and aware.  We don’t expect to send them away from home and have some madman/woman attack our babies.  A few weeks ago I posted “Mommy, I’m Grown!” in which I tell the story of my then 18 year old daughter performing a disappearing act.  My story had a happy ending, she ended up being at a friend’s house.  The part of the story untold was my sister and I at the police station and a call coming across the radio about an 18 year old female found assaulted behind a building, she had been badly beaten and raped.  This part was hard for me to write, the images going through my head were so intense, I became physically ill.  I stood there as the officer tried to quiet the call, but it was too late, I gave him a description of my daughter and he moved slowly toward the radio to answer.  This was a nightmare!  I couldn’t read the officers face as he returned to the desk, I felt like he was moving in slow motion.  He let out a deep breath and said “I was praying this wasn’t your daughter.” Just as those words left his mouth, I received a text, from my daughter.  I never was sure why I didn’t tell this part of the story, but God has a way of letting you reveal things in His time and I feel like I need to express this now.   I could have easily been the mother of a victim.  I can tell you I know for a fact that the punishment this creep received would not have satisfied any thoughts of vengeance I would have had.  I can only imagine the slap in the face this 6 month staycation for such a horrible crime is making this family and their daughter feel.

To this young lady and her family, I am so sorry the system failed you. I want to thank you for your statement.  I know this could not have been easy to write, it was extremely hard to read.  I thank you for opening up the conversation in households that may have not been had but are now being discussed because you were brave enough to speak your truth.  My prayer is that you have a successful, happy, loved, joyous, and abundant life.  That the opportunities offered to you are above and beyond your wildest dreams.  That as this rape is a horrific, unforgettable part of your story, you will use it to strengthen who you are and that this rape will not define you.  To your parents, you have raised an amazing daughter, she is strong and powerful and she has given strength and power to other people.

If you are reading this and have been a victim of sexual assault, please seek help by contacting the National Sexual Assault Hotline, 1.800.656.HOPE (4673). Don’t be ashamed, don’t be afraid, and don’t allow injustice stop you from having a voice.