parenting

It’s My BLOGIVESARY!!!

CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?!  My baby turns 2 today and I am in shock.  Who would’ve thought 2 years ago when I sat down to write my first post, create a site, develop what Just One Hot Mom was going to be that, that seed would produce such AWESOME fruit.  She yeah, she, has produced a YouTube channel and podcast on http://www.elevationsradio.com.  She has allowed me to be transparent, to express my wins and losses.  I fell head over heels in love with writing all over again because of this blog.  I’m beyond blessed to be the person that gave birth to her.

I am thankful for each and every reader, for every listener, for every one that watches the videos.  I am thankful that you all take time out of your day to listen, view, comment or think about this HOT MAMA right here.  Thank you to my family, my village for all the love and support.  You all are one of the driving forces behind me, propelling me into excellence.  You help me exude confidence and I am thankful to you all.  To my children and my partner in crime, you all put up with the emotional imbalance that is Nanekia.  You see me at my best and often at my worst.  You love me out of my frustration.  I love and adore you all for that, this is for you, for our future. I am THANKFUL for you all.

I am blessed beyond measure and none of this would be possible had I not stepped out on faith, made the decision to be transparent and allow people to see the exposed me. For that FATHER GOD I thank you.  We talk on the regular, I am unconventional, unpredictable, imperfect, confusion, a bundle of sin, yet YOU said I’m going to use you Nik, I’m going to let people see ME in you.  I swear, I fail, I question, yet I am USABLE!  Do you know how hard that is to accept?! But I accept it!

So, I’ll close this with what I say every time I’m asked how I’m going to do this, how am I going to compete….Whatever God has in store for me is meant for me, whatever God has in store for you is meant for you, What is meant for me won’t feel or fit you right and vice versus.  Yours is out their waiting for you, I’m going for mine. GO GET YOURS!

parenting

I Quit!

How often do we tell our kids to never give up to not quit.  I thought long and hard before I decided to quit, I had to make sure I was quitting for all the right reasons.  See I’ve been needing to quit for the longest time.  But there’s always something there telling me not to give up.  Well today I quit and if you are smart you’ll quit right along with me.

See there does come a point in your life where you do need to quit.  Quit complaining, if you are not going to take the necessary action to change the complaint , just quit.  Quit saying you’re going to live your best life, yet you never do, what’s stopping you, YOU!!!  Quit making excuses for people who are not asking you to excuse them.  MASK OFF! Some people we want to change will never change they are happy and content, you are the one living in misery, just quit.  Quit procrastinating!  What the hell are you waiting for?! Write that book, go back to school, sell those cakes, travel.  Why are you waiting, what happens if you decide to go ahead and make that move? You’re time is now!  Quit waiting for people to accept you.  Let me tell you the moment you walk in your truth and truly be who you are destined to be, THE GAME WILL CHANGE FOR YOU!  You be the first person to accept you.  I’m quitting! Quitting is not always a bad thing, sometimes you have to quit that thing to get what is really meant for you.  But because we refuse to quit, we get stuck.  You know what I’m talking, stuck on stupid and paused on dumb.

So what do you do when you don’t know how to quit?! I have not a clue, but what I do know that since quitting a few things mentioned above and going cold turkey, I feel free.  I feel free to embrace what is really meant for me.  See each of us has a role to play, that role is only meant for us and no one else can play it.  We are also responsible for figuring that role out and making sure our character does that role justice.  The moment you choose you, secure you, then you can be free to help others.  It all starts with you

My challenge QUIT!  There is something greater in store for you once you quit negativity and decide to embrace the positive.  It won’t be easy, but we as a community are here to support.  Drop what you are quitting in the comments. Quit!

Uncategorized

Go HARD or Go HOME!

go hard or go homeHappy Monday! I really hope all the moms enjoyed their Mother’s Day, I know I did.  Today it’s back to business.  I want to touch on a subject that may be a little sensitive to some, but as always let’s start the conversation.  This past weekend I was out grocery shopping when I was approached by two young men outside of the grocery store.  Let me just tell you, I carry my own bags and if I don’t my son is there to help so immediately I was like no thank you! The young man asked if he could holler at me, which threw me because he looked about 17-18 and I’m cute, but I’m I could be your mama cute, lol!  I go in the store and I grocery shop, I can see through the window that these young men are approaching others as they walk in the store.  I pay for my groceries and I’m dreading going out the store cause I just want to get in my car, with my groceries and go home.  As I exit I hear him again say can I holler at you.  I said young man stop approaching people like that, come better than that.  He says okay Miss Lady Ma’am I’m taking donations for my mixtape I’m about to drop you can give me $5 or anything in your pockets (he told me I was cute too, but that’s neither here nor there).  I let him know I didn’t have any cash, but good luck with his hustle. I got in the car and prepared to drive away.  Then I stopped.

Sometimes I really wonder about this calling on my life to speak to our youth. They can be so aggravating.  But, I really just felt like these two could use a little advice.  So here we go…I said excuse me young man, what’s your sound, what is your music about?  He ensures me that it’s positive about the community.  I said, why did you pick this location to tell people about your mixtape?  Well we are just trying to get our sound out in the community.  Okay cool, at least they have a goal.  I asked, do you think this is the best location, I’ve been watching and besides myself everybody else going into this store is over 60 (I’m not just eyeballing people, this was clearly an older crowd).  They both have a blank stare on their faces.  I then asked, who do you want to hear your tape, do you think this crowd will be your audience?  He’s interested now.  I then say besides this grocery store what else is in the next two blocks on this street?  Well, it’s some beauty salons and barber shops, he’s looking interested still.  Exactly my friend, It’s Mother’s Day weekend, everybody is trying to get cute for church or dinner tomorrow, young, old, mama, grandma, daddy, granddaddy, why are you not checking out those places.  Young man who hadn’t said anything speaks up, they take too long and we have to wait for them. *GASP* Dude where is your hustle?!  If anybody understands what it’s like to have to build your roster, and to get the community to back you it’s the beauty and barber shops.  If you go in and play nice with the people they may consider letting you sell inside the shop.  I give them a couple of suggestions on how to approach the owners and beauticians/barbers, we shake hands and I’m out!

Parents, where are the hustlers?! Where is the grind in our children to believe in themselves so deeply that they pursue their dreams, even if they have to wait for Miss Jackson to finish getting her hair done?  These two young men were presentable, they somewhat had a plan but were letting the fact that they may have to wait stop them from pushing forward and waiting for a better opportunity.  I don’t know about you, but I’m not letting my children limit themselves because they may have to wait.  It’s time for some positive disruptive innovation.  It’s time to think out of the box when it comes to developing our children’s goal seeking abilities.  I know not everyone can be the next big rapper, but if that’s the dream shouldn’t they at least give it a proper go (I work with a British professor, he’s always saying give it a proper go).  I know for me personally I hate to see my children upset when they believe they have worked hard at something and it’s not recognized.  Lately though, I have to say, I’m proud of the effort.  I try to remind them that not every opportunity is meant for everybody and that if this is meant for them then to keep moving forward.  I also let them know that sometimes you may have to work harder than others to achieve your dreams, but in the end your hard work will pay off with either your dream coming true or a lesson.  Now some of our children are in phases of multiple fruition (they don’t know what they want to do) and you may have to have a talk with them, but for the most part let’s nurture these dreams.  Let’s not allow them to give up if they lose and even when they win let’s keep that fire burning.  It’s time parents, time to get your HUSTLE ON!

Do you know your child(ren)’s dreams or goals? How are you helping to nurture them?  Is there something you can show them about your own hustle that will help them with theirs?  #eachonteachone