parenting

Being Nanekia…Do Not Apply Pressure!

jesus-hilario-h-311382-unsplashHey Hotties! The school year has officially started for most (YAY!) This summer was amazing the kids and I had a great time on some great adventures. As most of you know Anissa has started kindergarten and Jamiel is a freshmen in high school. Yeah, yeah, I know the spacing, but you know I like it spicy and the way to keep it that way is to spread them far apart, just joking that’s life. Anyway that’s not what this post is about. My son is attending a great private school, that has a high moral and educational code, they are expecting students to excel in all areas of their lives and become productive members of society. What parent doesn’t what that for their child?! I knew this was the place for my son and we have been excited all year for his start, that was until the first week of school.

Jamiel is my calm child, he doesn’t stress too much, he goes with the flow. So imagine my surprise when I caught him up late one night in a panic. His eyes were red, he had a strained look on his face and he was grabbing his stomach. My immediate response, food poisoning! As I begin to feel his forehead and ask about his other symptoms I realized it wasn’t food poisoning, Jamiel was stressed. In my mind I was thinking we are just the first week in, how can you be stressed already. I didn’t want to make light of how he was feeling, so I got him some water and asked if we could talk. (I always ask my kids if they want to talk I don’t assume they are ready just because I am.)

I took a look at what was on the screen of his laptop and there was this overwhelming schedule, something completely new to him, new teachers, new concepts to learn, new school, new people. While this could be the possibility for each school year, something was very different for him this time around. In his words, “I’m a young adult now people expect me to be responsible all the time, to know things I don’t really know, to perform. I’m always hearing how as a young black man I have to do more, HOW DO I DO MORE?!” I felt bad cause honestly I didn’t have an answer for him, I’m still trying to figure out how I can do more and I’ve had almost 40 years to do so. In the first week of school he had 3 quizzes, 2 papers, football practice, a football game, his chores for home,  and time for a social life, for someone who hasn’t had to jungle this before this was a huge shock to his system. He went through several conversations before we narrowed down his real concern, would he be a disappointment.

Jamiel’s disappointment statement hurt my heart, why would he ever think he was a disappointment. then I remembered a conversation we had earlier this summer. School was never hard for me, I didn’t have to study, I could read something one time and just know it. Jamiel had the same ability in middle school but high school is a whole new ballgame. His confidence was low, how do I help him regain it?

  1. We made a schedule for him to stick to and added the events to the calendar on his phone with reminders. There is time for studying, homework, and time each night to ask me questions about what he may need help with.
  2.  He signed up for tutoring, it’s available free through the school so why not utilize the resource.
  3. We are reading for fun a book together, to expand his horizons. We’ll be able to discuss with each other, hopefully helping him to engage in this conversation will give him with the confidence to engage in class.
  4. I’ve put the tribe on notice and asked that they pray for him and send him encouraging words. I am a firm believer that the people in your child’s life should speak excellence over their life.
  5. Going to bed on time. As much as he wants to be up playing Fortnite, he realizes that he needs rest.
  6. I’ve realized that I want him to do well, to succeed, but not at the cost of his mental health. Open communication about the pressures he feels will always be a constant in our home.

It’s important that we listen to and not just talk at our children. Their feelings matter and we need to watch the pressures we apply. What do you do when you notice your child may be a little stressed? How are you helping to alleviate that stress?

 

parenting

What the Workout?! What Am I Using to Maximize My Workouts?!

nik workoutSo a few of you have asked what I’ve been using along this weight loss journey, there are so many products out there to aid you and all you want to know is the TRUTH! Well I’m here to share my truth with you.

Waist Trainer & Vests

I have two waist training vest that I rotate between for each work. Both help with supporting my core and getting the best sweat for my workout bucks. For ladies with a heavier bust I recommend the FeelinGirl Women’s Vest Sport Girdle Waist Trainer Trimmer XXL. This training vest wraps around your waist area and has a zipper sports bra area that helps keep your girls intact! We all can use that support. The other vest I use is Junlan Womens Shapewear Weight Loss Neoprene Sauna Sweat Waist Trainer Corset Tank Top Vest Sport Workout Slimming Body Shaper (M, Black Sauna Waist Trainer) I LOVE the corset part of this vest. The snug and secure feeling it gives during the workouts assures that not only is my core supported it forces me maintain proper posture during a vigorous workout session

Hair Care

The biggest issue I’ve had with this journey is maintaining my hair. I am not a natural girl so the flat irons and I are really good friends. Two things how can I maintain great undamaged hair and style. To help maintain undamaged hair (with color) I use the following shampoo and conditioner Vibrant Sexy Hair Shampoo & Conditioner Duo Set Liters. The constant washing of my hair was bleeding my color with the products I mentions I was able to maintain my hair color for 10 weeks, that’s right 10 WEEKS!

Now what do i do with all the sweat I work up. It has to go somewhere. All that moisture builds up I call the puff, which means I can’t tame this wild mane. So to cut down on the puff I use French Fitness Revolution Yoga Headbands for Women/Sweatband for Sports, Workout or Running, Insulates and Absorbs Sweat, Head Bands for Girls from this draws the moisture from my scalp into the headband, and then POOF no PUFF!

Undergarments

The vest and workout gear are just one part of getting fit. One of the most important components of your workout outfit is what you wear underneath your workout clothes. I can honestly say not having the proper underwear deterred me from working out at one point. If you are top-heavy person like me,  you need something that will properly support you, that’s why I wear SYROKAN Women’s High Impact Support Wirefree Workout Racerback Sports Bra Top Black L. This sports bra is amazing and helps keep everything in its place while I bounce around. For my lower half I keep it cute and simple with a boy short. My thighs still do a slow clap so to place a pause on the applause this shorts do the trick, G3 Womens Sports Underwear 6 Pack. Womens Boyshorts Panties Boxers. Pure Stretch. I’m all about fitness and being comfortable while I’m getting fit.

So there you have it! A few products to help you get started on your own fitness journey. You can also check out these items in my store. What are you currently using and willing to share? Drop that info in the comments.

(Amazon Associate post)

parenting

Tune in!!

Here are a few of my favorite guest and podcast episodes from the last year. I appreciate all my guest giving me the opportunity to share their story. Tune in! Click the links!

No Longer Powerless Featuring Sharone ThomasNo Longer Powerless Promo

Policing Our Communities Featuring Jamaal Ansaripolicing our communities

#BOSSMOM Featuring Sherita Carthonbossmom

Dating After Divorce Featuring Clotea Mackdating after divorce

Donnie Lynee Artist SpotlightDonnie Lynee Promo

parenting

YOU ARE THE HOTTEST MOM!!!

nisha-hmHave you ever meant someone  and at the time you have no clue what role they will play in your life or why?! I meet people like that all the time. The most frustrating person I have ever meant was one of those people and she is also this month’s HOTTEST MOM! LaTanisha White drives me completely insane. She is one of the leaders I work with in Cleveland YoungLives. I came to unexpectedly love her because of her drive, her ambition, her heart for those around her. I hope you all know I am kidding when I say she drives me crazy, only slightly, (LOL, she’s going to kill me).

Our relationship was one we had to develop and work on, she didn’t understand me and I didn’t get her. Our common ground…we have a heart for people. In getting to know Nisha, I saw what others might not ever see and that’s her complete devotion to her family, her ministry, and living her best life. I learned from her that when we actually take the time to sit down and talk to people, not just check their social media or assume we know them from brief interactions we may have had, when we really take the time to actively listen, we may discover we are not so different.

Nisha you have shown me that ambition comes in different forms, that rest is not easy but necessary, that if you put your mind to something you can do it, and that it’s never too late to start over. You are a true definition of a HOT MOM and someone I am very proud to have in my life. We will continue to push each other’s buttons, grit our teeth all for the glory of Reach 2 Generations 4 Christ. You are more than deserving of your Best Life, glad to be a part.

parenting

Being Nanekia…Feelin’ Pretty

feelin prettyAs most of you know I spent a lot of time last year working out preparing for my friend’s wedding.  We had an amazing time, check out the photos Girls Trippin. We all looked amazing and enjoyed ourselves to the fullest. Maybe we enjoyed ourselves a little too much, since returning home the joy has continued and the pounds have inched back. As life would have it I just began to accept the pounds as HAPPY to be alive weight and went on my merry way.

It was a lie. These were not HAPPY pounds they were you are not watching your health, you are being careless, you need to get real. I had to be honest with myself I can be happy and healthy, what could I do to make sure I was able to achieve both?! Although I never had a problem working out, it would get boring sometimes, I mean I could switch up machines but being in the same gym every day seeing the same things over and over caused me to get bored. I headed outside to walk around my neighborhood, the track, local parks, still I was bored. I NEEDED A WORKOUT MAKEOVER!!!!!

What do you do when you need a makeover, YOU CALL YA GIRLS! My main workout partner for the wedding had started a new workout regimen and said I could join her. I was like I’m not really into having some pushy workout instructor yelling, thinking that would motivate me. Little did I know, this workout group would change my whole way of thinking about working out. #PrettyGirlsTrain #TrainPretty

This community of beautiful women of all shapes and sizes welcomed me with open arms. It’s a place where I can dance, which I love to do and get the encouragement I need to take back control of my health. Each week I go there I sweat like crazy I enjoy some me time and I get healthy. Could a girl ask for much more?! I’ve got a long road ahead of me, but with each beat drop I’m one twerk closer to achieving my goals. What’s something you need to do to take back control of your health or at least maintain it?