self care, women

Tips On Selecting A Mechanic

Most recently I took my car to a mechanic for routine maintenance, tune-up, and this is where the nightmare begins. Now I know some will say why didn’t you take it to the dealership, but let’s face it if the repair isn’t under warranty you could be looking at greater out of pocket cost. I’ve used this mechanic in the past, he has a great reputation and he’s affordable, his communication skills could definitely use some work, but hey I’m paying for a service. A two hour job turned into my car being at the repair shop for 2 ½ weeks. There was an accident that occurred during the repairs which required them to do more repairs. This got me to thinking, this repair shop had been my only option for so long and I’d gone to them on a referral, now that I was questioning our relationship, what would I do if I needed to find another mechanic, how would I find one? Below please find tips on how to search for a mechanic. This is especially for the ladies.

  1. Ask for referrals from other women. 9 times out of 10 another woman will give you the details regarding their experience with a mechanic. Good or bad this will give you an opportunity to gather a list for investigation.
  2. Investigate! Although your sista friend may have recommended this person you never know if you will have the same experience. Go online and check for reviews, find out if they are certified by the Better Business Bureau, check their listed certification for the repair shop and their mechanics. Find out if they specialize in your brand of car.
  3. Take the shop for a test drive. An oil change can be a great way to experience a repair shop for the first time. Also check to find out if the shop does free diagnostic testing. Most of the shops I have been to recently offer this as a free service and will quote you for the repairs needed. If there is a fee associated with the diagnostic testing this is normally based on the brand of the car and can range from $50-150 (approximately)
  4. Ask about the shops warranty policy. What happens if they cause a repair issue (learned this lesson myself). Do they look for products that are warrantied? Do they offer a warranty if there is an issue with the vehicle after the repair within a timeframe? These are all questions that will save you money.
  5. Convenience. Personally I have one vehicle so it’s important for my repairs to get done in a timely manner so that my vehicle is returned as soon as possible. Also the availability of the shop, what time do they open, when do they close, are they opened on weekends? I’m a working mom I need a certain level of convenience to keep my life organized. (All moms need this!)

Regular car maintenance is a must, don’t just wait until you need a huge repair, getting regular maintenance on your vehicle will help cut cost in the long run. Also, don’t be afraid to ask questions and get clarification on those questions if needed. A car is a big investment and you need to be aware of how to take care of your investment.

What are some things you look for when searching for a services? How important are reviews or recommendations. I’m currently looking for a new mechanic I need to have a back-up.

black women, health, parenting, self care, women

The She Deserves Coach Approach

In the last few months I have had the opportunity to really embrace the new newness of Just One Hot Mom! After deciding to take a sabbatical from ElevationsRadio.com and to pursue writing, podcasting, and coaching with full force, I am the happiest I have been. My goal, passion, and purpose is to empower maternal figures in all walks of life, to meet them where they are and encourage them to level up. I think we can all use a person standing in our corner cheering us on and telling us “get yo life” when we need to hear it. It is the desire of my hear to be that. 

Currently I have available a few coaching options, click here to see ht one that may work for your or a friend. I know that I have the unique ability to connect with people, especially maternals, that allows me insight into who you are and who you want to become. Working together as a team to figure it out will be life changing for us both. Third party perspective can be eye opening and allow you to see a vision for your life you may have never dreamed of. I get excited at the thought of helping others become who they are called to be. 

I know there is a maternal figure out there who can use my assist. At this time she may not have the means or know how to reach out to me. This is where you can help. Once a month I will offer The She Deserves Coach Approach! This is a free coaching service for a maternal figure nominated. Send an email to justonehotmom@gmail.com to nominate a maternal figure, tell why she should win the free session. I will need her contact information to schedule the 1 time, 1 hour session. You may not nominate yourself. I will only select 1 person a month, picked on the 15th day of the month. 

If you are wondering how I’ve impacted my community so far check out the video below for a few testimonials. I look forward to working with you.


parenting, women

Colorism?!

colorism blog postIn last week’s episode of Black-ish (Season 5, Episode 10) The Johnson family was faced with what many families of color are faced with, the topic of colorism. What is colorism you might asked, well it is defined as prejudice or discrimination against individuals with darker skin tone, typically among people of the same ethic or racial group (dictionary.com). Now you may wonder how can people of the same race be prejudice against each other, but trust it happens especially in African-American families where there can be a variety of shades, light, brown, honey, caramel, dark, black people come in all colors. While we are told to be proud of our brown skin we are the very same people who will tease, bully, harass each other about being too dark, too light. It’s a sad but true fact we can hate each other all because of the color of our skin, the thing that we fight against in so many other arenas we fight with each other with as well. Go on over to ABC.com and check out Black-ish which airs Tuesdays at 9pm, especially this most recent episode if you’d like to delve into the topic on colorism.

Recently in our home we had the topic of colorism come up, which makes the timing of this episode extra special. As with every night before bed I apply my facial cream to remove the residue of the day. As I was standing in the mirror Anissa asked if she could apply some. I explained to her that this was for mommy to remove her makeup and that her skin was gorgeous and she didn’t need the extra, I saw the disappointed look on her face and inquired as to why she looked sad. She explained to me that my cream was making my skin lighter and prettier and that her darker skin didn’t look like mine. GASP! Anissa is 6 years old and I never thought that one she didn’t think her skin was pretty (we always talk about how beautifully black girl magic she is) and I never thought that she thought I was trying to lighten my skin. Just to give you some background I am the lightest skinned member of the household, I just dyed my hair black and I get extremely pale in the winter, which attributes to my lighter tone. I get teased about this all the time, how can I go from tanned to light bright. It never really bothered me because I’m comfortable in my skin no matter what color it turns. But in this moment I felt uncomfortable, I would have given anything to have a tan and stand with Anissa in her honey glow. I explained to my sweet face girl that I was washing my face not getting lighter and that she was gorgeous that her tanned skin was something other people would pay for, then I showed her pictures of me in the summer (optimal tan) and then we looked at me in the mirror now. We both agree that I need a tan and then we pointed out the beautiful things we notice about each other.

In that moment I thought about other little girls and boys and the questions they might have about their skin color, about them being teased, and about them feeling uncomfortable in their own skin. How do we as a community address this issue? Why do we discriminate against each other? How can everyone begin to love the skin they’re in?

Well here are some tips (simple but it’s a start)

  1. As a family stop bullying, teasing, joking about skin tone. Although it may seem like it’s all fun and games we don’t know the real seed that’s being planted for someone to learn to not love themselves. As long as we allow this to go on we nurture the seed that allows some one to think one shade of skin is better than the other.
  2. When children have questions about skin tone and why they look different don’t brush it off, ADDRESS IT. We have got to start having conversations that teach our children to love themselves, this is a lesson that we should all want them to learn at home and not out in the world. If we start the conversations in our homes, then we at least give them the tools and preparation to handle these conversations out side of out homes.
  3. This is a big one for me so agree or disagree, but children should have toys in all shades, this more so falls in the category of baby dolls. Anissa has dolls of all shades and they are all beautiful to her. We as families have to set our own beauty standards and teach our children to do the same.

The tips I gave are something you can do right now to help your children learn to appreciate who they are. Whether you are black, white, yellow, brown, or purple, you are beautiful. Embrace that beauty, appreciate the beauty, then get to the business of letting the world see you walk in that beauty.

How will you handle the topic of colorism if it comes up in your home? Don’t wait start the conversation today.

To hear more about this topic tune into Episode 3 of The Parental Guidance Counselor Podcast. Don’t forget to subscribe.

black women, health, women

Being Nanekia…GirlTrek A Walk To Self Discovery!

nik girl trekA little over a week ago thanks to #BlackGirlsInCle I had the opportunity to attend Girl Trek Cleveland Edition. I was excited 1. to find out more about Girl Trek, 2. To get out of the house on a Friday night for a little me time. Go on over and read my review of the event on www.blackgirlincle.com. The space, the vibe, the sisterhood was overwhelming and as with each experience I get to learn more about myself. So what did I learn this time around…Keep reading!

I’ve been living this outside my comfort zone lifestyle for a while. I’ve been many places alone, which no longer bothers me, this experience was different, it took me to a new level of being uncomfortable and I was completely there for it. I’ve had to do a lot of self reflecting and soul-searching lately, this was a decision I did not take lightly as in order for me to become better, to be available to encourage others to be their best selves, in order to live by example, I can’t be bullsh*tting myself. If there was any of that left, the #girltrek experience pulled it all out.

  1. All the ladies in the room were told to stand silently against the wall and leave all judgements including judging ourselves outside the room, there were a lot of ladies but we manage to do it. Then we were told to really think about ourselves and be honest with the answers we were giving. Step forward if you have improved your healthy living lifestyle, step forward if you have left an abusive relationship, step back if you remain in an abusive relationship, this went on with multiple questions until we were uneven. As I gazed around the room I saw women who were just like me, standing on my own in life figuring things out. I’d experienced some gains and losses and I wasn’t alone.
  2. As we remain in silence we were brought to a circle to do a rhythmic dance exercise. Honestly I had no clue what we were about to do, but the spirit in the room was refreshing and inviting. There were so many melanated faces in the room as we looked at each other the music began. First there was a slow beat, which we swayed to, then the build up and as the music began to heighten we were instructed to dig, scooping low (floor) then releasing at the top (above our head) as we scooped the sound was one of great pain from each person, but then the release was a roar, like we had found freedom and we needed everyone to know. The more we scooped the greater the release until you could feel the humming in the room get louder and louder with every release. Not sure if my description is giving you the full picture, but imagine being weighted down and you feel like you can’t get up, but then you manage to get up and now you can’t even feel the weight of what you were carrying. I felt all the pressure of that day being removed from me, the issues with co-workers, kids not cleaning up, missing date night, loss of friendships, too many meetings, goals not reached, the weight of all the issues I’d been having I could no longer feel. What did I feel? I felt my sisters carrying me, I felt with each hum of their voices they were helping me release. This was magical because let me tell you, a girl was extremely tired of carrying that weight!
  3. The Wonder Stories of Wonder Women! This part of the evening was amazing. You all know I like a good story and these were stories of women right here in my community, sharing defeat and triumph. With each shared story I felt closer to these women I did not know. We experienced joy, pain, laughter, anger, so many emotions and so many divine connections made. Once the stories were over we were told to grab a sister, hold her hands and look her directly in her eyes. No smiling, just studying her face and seeing her story in her eyes. Have you actually ever looked at another woman? Not her outfit, make-up, shoes (we know I love shoes), not her smile, but what’s in her eyes. Staring into this strangers eyes I began to notice things I hadn’t about her and we had been sitting next to each other for at least 2 hours. If you are so inclined really look at someone, and you will see their story. This was magical for me and I’m not going to lie the tears began to flow, because I knew my story, that behind my smile, behind the jokes, I was crying my eyes out tired and I didn’t see rest in site. That sister hugged me so tight I felt my body go limp and finally rest!
  4. Finally we get to the walking part, LOL! I mean all this emotional stuff and now you want me to walk. If you read my #blackgirlincle article then you know that 137 black women are dying each day due to preventable diseases. For me personally I know stress correlates directly to some of my health issues. Being able to relieve some of that stress and set myself free was amazing. So what does walking have to do with this? It’s a form of self-care we should start taking advantage of. When I’m angry, take a walk, when I’m sad, try taking a walk, when I’m happy take advantage of that boost and take a walk. Our ancestors found freedom in walking and you can find it too just take your first steps.

Girl Trek is on a mission to get a million African-American women to join the movement by 2020, I’m one of those women! My road to travel in getting me together started when I decided to take that single step, to live a life that defines me and no one else. What will your walk look like? Will you join us?
onika jervisOnika Jervis, Chief Engagement Officer. Girl Trek

Veronica VeryVeronica Very, President & Founder, Wonder of Women

Morgan DixonMorgan Dixon, Founder & CEO, Girl Trek