black women, health, parenting, self care, women

Know Nik November: Mommy Needs A Moment!

Stay ready you don’t have to get ready! I hear that a lot and as a mom I tend to overthink, over prepare, under prepare, whatever it is sometimes I just need a moment to breathe! Now before you go and say why become a mother anyway, DO NOT GO THERE…Before I was a mom and still to this day I am human. In thinking that there are other moms out there like me, that need a moment, this weekend I decided to host my first “Mommy Needs A Moment” event. I invited mothers from all walks of life to join me for an evening of enjoying themselves, no strings attached, just come as you are and take a moment. There was food, music, drinks, and laughs a whole lot of laughs!

The thought behind hosting this was that we as moms often forget to take moments to ourselves, we don’t feel deserving of moments, or we feel ashamed for taking a moment. I shared with the moms my journey in learning to take time for myself, holding myself accountable for doing so, and teaching my children to take their own moments. We then went around the table and the moms shared why they did or did not take time for themselves and what they did or didn’t do during this time.

I believe my purpose in life is to help moms, encourage them, empower them to be the best version of themselves. There’s a lot of pressure in this world to be perfect in everything we do. We fall short every day and who are others to judge or shame us for doing so. Just One Hot Mom has always been a safe space for me to write about my motherhood journey, to admit my flaws, share some laughs and lessons. Sometimes all it takes it a moment to get ourselves together, to become grounded, to recognize we need help. Sometimes even more we need someone to tell us that it’s okay to do so. “Mommy Needs A Moment” is a movement for moms by this mom. This is the start of a realization that we can be our best selves if we just step back and take some time.

If you would like to bring “Mommy Needs A Moment” to your city I am ready to hit the road. This experience does not just happen then leave you once the night is over, there is a 15 day journal that you can utilize after the event to help you start taking your moments or enjoying your moments. To connect send an email to justonehotmom@gmail.com with the subject “Mommy Needs A Moment” or call 216.220.7223.

I look forward to many more moments with each of you.

black women, parenting, self care

Know Nik November: God Is Laughing At Me!

That’s how the saying goes, you make plans and God laughs! I can honestly say I get this and I’ve started laughing with Him. We all do it, we picture our lives when we are kids. I’m going to get married, have this many kids (I wanted 5 girls), a huge brick house, I was going to be a doctor, and my husband, well honestly never really imagined that part which explains a lot. As I got older I modified the plan to fit me at that time, until one day after three kids, a divorce, dropping out of medical school, and re-starting my writing career multiple times, I laugh often.

There are times when I think I have completely lost it because I should be crying. Moments where I face myself and I don’t know what to do, when I’m backed in a corner, when I’m the person soley responsible for making decisions that can change someone else’s future, a very scary thought. In the past when I would have cried, I just look to the heavens and say “Let’s just go ahead and do this Your way!” I’m learning that I am a hard headed child who tends to lean towards taking the hard road. Let’s just say I understand the “Prodigal Son.” I have strayed from the path I know I should take many times and every time I’ve been welcomed back with open arms and a thump on my head. I can’t help but laugh at myself, how many times have I told my kids to do something the way mom told you the first time, yet I myself don’t listen.

This journey has not always been easy, I’ve had moments where I thought life would swallow me alive. When I look back over those moments I smile and have a little chuckle, knowing it’s nothing but grace that has gotten me through. What moments have taken place in your life that you know it was nothing but grace that kept you? Are you able to laugh at yourself?

black women, self care, women

Know Nik November: Transition Ain’t Easy!

I get a text message from one of my favorite fashionista blogger, Marcia Craggett, The Undercover Fashionista, go follow her now. “Let’s shoot!” I think I came up with an excuse every time she made this request and then one day the request came through and it sounded like a demand. I love taking pictures but as of late I was just blah about it. I needed new content for my site, but what would the purpose be behind it. Marcia could careless, I needed pics and she wanted to shoot so here we go. Early on a Saturday morning in some cold almost wet weather, I’m outside, exposed! The hour long shoot produced this month’s reflection “Know Nik November!” In the next phase of this journey, I’m being called to be more transparent, to be open and honest about how I am called to help other moms, maternal figures navigate this life without completely losing it.

Life is always happening! The kids are growing and transitioning themselves. My 9-5 has undergone multiple restructuring, I’m currently looking for a home, I’m building a business in which I help other women elevate their lives, I’m speaking at conferences, I’m writing a book, podcasting, and blogging. As I grow and let’s face it dominate these areas of my life, I’ve suffered some losses. When they say it’s lonely on the rise to the top they are not lying! Relationships have become complicated and some have died. In a time where I definitely need a team around me to support, to listen, to keep me grounded, I often find myself standing alone! This is not what I envisioned when I saw success in my future. I spend a lot of time alone!

As I sit here and even write this I can honestly say in the beginning I was devastated! How can I accomplish this life without my people?! Then I am reminded of seasons and reasons! There are seasons for people, situations, and things in your life, there are reasons people come and go, why situations change you, and why things come in and others move out. Taking all of this in and really dealing with myself and my reasons for even wanting to elevate my legacy, I now know that every lesson I learned in those seasons and reasons has enabled me to handle transitioning.

I am blessed to walk in these shoes! While transitioning, building, and welcoming new people into the village I’m thankful for it all. There are moments (Facebook) memories Where I see where I was and I think back to those amazing times with amazing people, then I look forward and I see many more extraordinary awesome times to come. This month “Know Nik November” I’m letting you in. I want you to know me, to see me, the growth I’m going through and the growth I’ve achieved. I’m excited to be on this journey. Stay tuned!

black women, health, self care, women

Identity Thief!

SPOILER ALERT, if you are not caught up on This Is Us, listen to this at a later date. If you are caught up let’s discuss our BFF Beth. In the last two episodes we really see Beth and Randall’s relationship, let’s reflect on the way Beth viewed their relationship and how getting caught up in someone’s life and neglecting your own can cause you to question who you are. Has your identity been stolen? How do we get it back?