Did you ever think to yourself I wish someone would have told me this? Although we don’t get a manual to this whole motherhood thing, we do however have moms who have come before us that have a wealth of knowledge. I know as soon as I announced I was pregnant I got a bunch of advice about cravings, what to put on my belly to prevent stretch marks, and to enjoy sleeping now because it would soon end. While that advice was great there are a few things about motherhood I wish someone would have told me. A few randoms…
- Toddlers have no chill, they speak their minds and know how to make you feel three apples high. Toddlers are not afraid to tell you they don’t like you or don’t like something you are doing. I think it’s mainly because they have been tainted by fear. My nephew on a regular basis grabs the jiggle I have under my arms, pinches it, slaps it, and then laughs this little evil laugh. I know it’s something I need to work on, but him bringing it to my attention let’s me know that I;m not the only one who knows that.
- Your body will never be the same. After becoming a mom, you may or may not snap back, but the other stuff that goes on internally no one ever talks about. I know I am not the only mom who has to be careful when they sneeze, laugh too hard, or wait too long to go to the bathroom. Moms you may lose control of your bladder, it’s not something you expect to happen but it does. Also my breast, the deflation after breastfeeding is real. Breast feed boobs are nice and perky, at least that is what I experienced, once I stopped breastfeeding the flabs that are not my boobs could use a kickstand. Nobody told me I’d have to readjust, reconfigure, resurrect my breast.
- You will feel guilty even when you have no reason to. There’s never enough time in the day, you will miss moments, and even though you try you can’t do it all. All these things have made me feel guilty. I remember Symone played softball, Jamiel played football, both practices at the same time and both required a parent to be present. I put on my taxi driving hat and drove between both fields. I felt guilty for not being present for both of them. Not only was this foolish of me to think I could do this by myself, it was exhausting and by the time we got home I was one grumpy mama, which wasn’t good for any of us.
- Teenagers have two personalities. One loves you, the other finds you annoying, bothersome, and wants nothing to do with you. This breaks most parents’ hearts. How could that beautiful being you gave birth to reject you like this. All we ever are told is to enjoy them while they’re little, well what happens when they are bigger, with opinions, and attitudes, and they don’t like you all the time?!
- Other mothers will judge you and you will become a judgy mother. We don’t talk about this at all. You know the “look” moms give their children, that same look moms have used against other mothers to make them uncomfortable or to show their disapproval. When we are shamed we expect others to sympathize with us, but will then turn around and do the same thing to another mother. I am guilty of this and would love to have a conversation about it.
Moms we can change the narrative. We can have real conversations about what motherhood really looks like. The ups and downs, the joys and sorrows. I hope I am creating that space for you here or at least getting you to start your own conversations.
What are some things you wish you would have known before becoming a mom?