I consider myself an intelligent person. I know how to care for my family, to meet their needs, and to make sure they are taking care of themselves. It’s common sense right?! I have structured lists that keep them on schedule, keep them healthy and make them all around better human beings. I’ve taught my kids the importance of making sure they are healthy mentally, spiritually, physically, emotionally, and financially. The area I was lacking in teaching them was that their mom needed to take care of herself too. Moms we truly have to practice what we preach. I can’t be telling my kids to live their best life and my life is so-so. 

I decided to go on a self-care journey to determine the best ways to take care of me. So many workshops, books, opinions, and advice from the experts as to what is and isn’t self-care. On that journey I learned 5 things I hope will help you as much as they helped me.

1. My self-care won’t look like the next person’s self-care! I remember sitting in my accountability group and we were talking about what we were going to do for self-care that week. I proudly announced that I was going to read at least 2 books. “That’s not self-care Nik! What are you going to do for you?” I started to name the typical things that people say, get a pedicure, get a massage, you know things like that. I stopped myself “I’m going to read at least 2 books!” I said again. See for me relaxing and curling up with a good book is my form of self-care. It eases my mind, allows my imagination to drift off into far off places, I get to fall in love over and over again. You have to do what works for you. Everybody has their opinion/advice about what works for them and that’s cool, if you really care for yourself you will find and do what fits you.
2. My self-care is selfish! As much as I love to do things with friends and a part of my self-care is hanging out a majority of it has to do with self discovery. I need to know Nik! Her likes and dislikes, how far she is willing to go and what is off limits for her.If you are in my ear telling me your discovery how can I learn to fall in love with mine. Self-care is the one area of my life that is just for me and I’m not giving that up for anyone.
3. Pack your toolkit! I am big on creating toolkits, just ask my clients. Each week when I determine what I will do to self-care for that week I make sure to gather the things I will need to accomplish just that. We often don’t actively participate in self-care because it takes time to organize it, to think about it, to go out and do it. Get yourself a self-care bag or box. For me I use my Mommy Needs A Moment bag, I have in there the books I plan to read, my journal, writing utensils, crayons, a little wallet with my self-care funds. Whatever I need to help in my self-care plans I pack, When I am ready I pick up that bag and I get to self-caring. Prepare for your care mommies!
4. Self-care UNASHAMED! I like wine! It is a part of my self-care. I like to shop (online), it is a part of my self-care. I like to twerk, it is a part of my self-care. I’ve been told I’ll become an alcoholic, I’m financially irresponsible, and how is shaky my behind self-care. To that I say MINE YO BUSINESS! I didn’t say I get drunk to self medicate myself to deal with life, I like wine, red wine, to be exact and I take trips to wineries to learn more about the wine I like. I didn’t say I would spend whatever it takes to make me feel better, I said I like to shop (online) picking out a dress I like, decorating my home, or getting more books. I didn’t say I was trying out for a music video, that I wanted to become a twerk champ (totally possible), I said I like to twerk, having my friends in the background cheering me on or laughing because let’s face it I need some help. Twerking releases my inhibitions and I feel alive. Unless you are harming yourself or others, don’t allow people to make you feel ashamed of what you do to find joy. My self-care is my joy!
5. Do you! All the advice, books, shows about self-care won’t help you until you become comfortable with yourself. I could give you a list of things random moms say they do to self-care and none of them may be right for you. Only you know how to self-care for you. The whole point is to focus on you.

These may not be your typical self-care needs, it’s what I needed to own my self-care. What do you need?