Hey Hotties! This month I am letting a few of the kids I mentor take the reigns on the blog. I asked them for things that they wanted to discuss and they came through with some stuff I am sure will get parents thinking. To protect their privacy they are writing anonymously. Hoping these topics will spark conversation or not in the case of this topic in your home.
When dealing with a problem there are many things that roll through my head, most of which I myself do not want to announce. It is none of your business why I don’t want to announce it, or what that business is, but I’m going to give you some anyway. Here’s “Why I Don’t Wanna Talk About It”. Friends and parents, this is for you.
- I’m uncomfortable
If I don’t want to talk about the things happening in my head, or the problem I’m currently facing, it’s possible that I could be uncomfortable. For friends, it doesn’t mean that I don’t trust you, and parents, I’m not being disrespectful. I’m not comfortable. I have boundaries. I will tell you when I’m ready if I actually want you to know. If I don’t then I don’t. Respect that.
- I’m independent
Seeing as I’m pretty independent when it comes to my own things, I usually won’t announce what I’m going through because I will deal with it myself. Telling other people doesn’t make me feel weak, I don’t have issues with pride. I’m just logical, I know how my brain works. Which means usually, I will attempt to solve the problem myself before confiding in anyone else. Don’t take it personal
My brain often likes to tell me that whenever I rant or ask for help with something, I’m being a burden to other people or I feel like I’m pushing my problems onto people I care about. Most situations can be solved with simple communication, and I know that. So my brain deems it unnecessary that I tell another, like it’ll somehow ruin your life or something
- Hurting Feelings
Another stupid thing my brain likes to tell me is that somehow, I’m going to hurt someone else with my own head. Everyone is dealing with something, and my brain likes to see that fact to convince me that somehow, I’ll make someone feel bad; make them feel worse than they already might be feeling. It’s even worse when they can’t help me.
I will always fear judgement slightly. No matter what happens. There are so many factors that tie into how my head works that it’s honestly crazy. Because of this, I will fear judgement from whatever I say if I confide in you. Being a slight perfectionist and a bit overly-critical of yourself can do that to a person
- Laziness + Annoyance
Sometimes, none of these, or maybe all of these will apply. Usually when that happens, it means that the wheel has been turning for too long and I’m exhausted. Let me be at peace. I may talk to you once I’m calm and rested, don’t push it.
Other times however I’m just annoyed. If you continue to pester me about what’s wrong, and try and force me to tell you, rest assured I will never tell you anything again. Don’t do that. It doesn’t help, it doesn’t feel better. It just makes me not wanna talk to you ever again
If someone doesn’t want to talk about something, don’t force them. It’s rude and inconsiderate. You wouldn’t want people to do it to you, so don’t do it to anyone else. As long as you’re patient, depending on how comfortable the person is with you, you would find out eventually. And even if you don’t, it was none of your business. Leave that person be.
Are you looking to start a conversation but your child doesn’t want to? What will you do to ease the pressure of talking?