If you have followed my family’s journey then it will not come as a surprise to you that I am the proud mom of a lesbian! In the wake of Dwayne Wade and Gabrielle Union supporting their daughter Zaya, I’ve read a lot of opinions that support and declare war on their decision to support their child. I’ve never hidden the fact that my daughter is a lesbian and I never will. It’s her life and I would rather her be who she is then to live in secret, being uncomfortable, and not truly living. Most people have asked if it was hard to accept when Symone came out, how did I feel about it, and how did her coming out affect our relationship? I can honestly say that to date her coming out is not the most difficult conversation I’ve had as a parent, but it’s one I know a lot of parents struggle with. Below I will answer the questions above in hopes of helping another parent who may be struggling with their child’s sexuality.
- Was it hard accepting the fact that my daughter is a lesbian?
I can honestly say no. I knew (a gut feeling) for awhile that Symone questioned her sexuality. I’ve always tried to have open communication with my children, no topic has ever been off limits. The hardest part about her coming out was explaining to her that she may experience rejection, not only from people who don’t know her, but also from people who told her they love her and in the same breath would condemn her. We had a few difficult discussions with family members who would approach me about Symone’s Phase, but I knew it wasn’t just a phase. My greatest job is to love my children unconditionally! That’s the greatest commandment we are given. If no one else accepts her as her mother it’s my responsibility to create a safe space for her, to prepare her for this world which can be cruel when your lifestyle makes them uncomfortable, and to love her for who she is.
- How did I feel about Symone coming out?
Honestly…Scared! I knew her life would not be an easy one (not that it is for anyone), people will judge her, they will purposefully make her uncomfortable, and I wasn’t completely sure I’d done my best in giving her the coping skills to deal with these people. I feared that she would be overwhelmed with emotions that she didn’t know how to handle. As I always say there is no parenting manual, we are learning to parent as life happens. As much as I knew about my fears for her I could only imagine what was going through Symone’s mind. I began to journal my concerns and then have open communication with Symone about my fears so that we could help each other process our emotions and gain clarity about how to deal with society/family. Open communication is so important in a family. You may not always agree, it’s important to respect each other, either way. Remember you can guide your child, but as they grow into adulthood their life is just that their life.
- How did Symone coming out affect our relationship?
I have always been madly in love with my children. That’s it! She’s my daughter, my love for her will never change. It is a choice I gladly make every day to accept her for who she is! Parents the choice is yours for how you treat your children and how you love your children.
Is there a conversation you need to have but you are afraid of the outcome? How do you deal with life decisions your family/society may not agree with.