parenting

I Stand With You!

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SPOILER ALERT! Don’t get mad at me I’m caught up on quite a few shows. If you are not already a “Grey’s Anatomy” fan or a Shonda Rhimes fan then you are truly missing out on GENIUS! Go watch Silent All These Years, Season 15 Episode 19. In this episode a woman wanders into the emergency where she is greeted by Joe played by actress Camilla Luddington, who is going through her own issues but notices the woman is in distress. As Joe helps her she notices that the woman isn’t being completely honest about how her injuries have come about. As the episode goes on we learn that the woman was sexually assaulted and is fearful of the repercussions if she goes to the police. Throughout the episode we see Joe and the other doctors handle her with care, she is afraid, alone, and confused about what to do next. In my most proudest Shonda Rhimes fan moment yet ( I am sure there will be plenty more) we discover the woman ( Khalilah Joi) needs surgery but she is scared, Joe (SHERO) aligns the hospital walls with women who work all thru the hospital from the janitors, to housekeeping, doctors, nurses, all the ladies. They are standing with this woman who they do not know in a sign of solidarity. WOW!!! What an excited, tear -filled, amazing moment in television history.

As I watched this episode for the 15th time I ask myself would I be willing to stand with this woman and have I stood with other women like this?! My answer…YES! It’s important that we as women understand the obligation we have to stand with our sisters. Society would pit us against each other because of the way we look, our intelligence, financial background, anything that would tear us apart. It is our duty to not allow this to happen and to inspire, encourage, and stand up for one another. Ladies we do more harm than good when we can’t be kind to each other. Think about it. What would it cost you to tell another woman she looks good, to ask her how she is doing (and actually hear her), to not shame her when she clearly could use your help? It costs us nothing to treat each other with compassion.

As I’m writing this I hear my notifications bing (that adult ADHD kicks in) and I go to view the latest IG post from two of my favorite people. As I’m tuned in they are talking about someone, how her makeup is terrible, how she could lose some weight, a bunch of other this and that. Now these are two business women I admire, they have a great future ahead of them, but in this moment I am disappointed. In their own bio it states they are here to empower other women, how can you do that when a conversation or things you thought about this other woman you are exposing on social media. Now let’s be clear, I don’t know who they were talking about or if she had done anything to them, but does that matter?! How can we empower each other if we are going to shame each other. I go to unfollow them, because watching this episode and writing this post, I’m super upset by their behavior. Sometimes that little angel on my shoulder wins and instead I reach out to them. Now ain’t I one risky chick! Who am I to say anything to them? “Hey ladies, not sure what’s going on and it’s not my business. I would hope whomever you are discussing you would address them first. Us ladies have to stick together and handle conflict by talking not exposing.” (sent/read) No comment was returned, I didn’t have to go into some long speech or expose them, when I looked at their feed later on the post was gone. Now that situation could have went so far left and pulled me out of my own hook-up, but then I would have had a choice to make about how I dealt with it. I’m pretty sure I would have gotten upset and then opted to handle with care (that’s one of my goals, to not act up, but to back-up and evaluate).

My challenge to you ladies is to figure out how can you stand with those women around you. The mom in the grocery store who’s having a moment with her child, the lady walking out of the restroom with toilet paper on her shoe, the young ladies about to fight because of a post (be careful, not foolish), your friend who won’t leave her cheating boyfriend, your family member who’s in financial crisis, how can you stand with these women? Listen/Read closely it is not your job to figure life out for them, it is not your job to take on their responsibilities, however a hug, a listening ear, a tissue in hand, not joining in conversation that demeans them is a major start to standing with these women. So what are you going to do?

If you’d like to hear more on this topic tune in to the Just One Hot Mom Maternal Self-Care podcast, “Standing In The Gap” Episode 4. Don’t forget to Like, Share, & Subscribe!