Hey “Insecure” lovers, this is for you. This season “Insecure” was fire! We see Issa and her friends evolving. A few episode back prior to the finale we see the dynamic of the friendships change as Tiffany is clearly pregnant and the girls are clearly trying to live their best lives. What happens when one of your friends makes a life altering decision that not only will change their lives but effect how y’all operate?! Let’s get into this Pregnant Pause!

In the episode Tiffany looks to be about 7-8 months pregnant but she is still holding on trying to hang with her girls. During Beychella, it’s proven that this is a bit too much for her to handle. The other girls are still up to their shenanigans, thanks to a “special boost” and Tiffany is left as the so-called responsible one. By the end of the episode we learn that the dynamics of each friendship is draining Tiffany. She wants to be a part but let’s face it, trying to maneuver a pregnant belly and party with your girls is not easy, trust me I know from experience.

Let me set the scene…September 2012 I was about 6 months pregnant. I was having an amazing pregnancy, glowing, growing, and still able to party with my girls. We’d all made a pact that I would not be a couch potato and that we were going to be twerking all the way to the delivery room. I remember the night clearly, I was in the bathroom getting dressed about to head out for the night when One Handsome Dad enters and gives his opinion. It was time for me to sit it down, I was way too pregnant to be going out with my girls and the subject was not up for debate. First, I know y’all can imagine the look on my face, I’m a grown woman, I do what I want, I was always safe and monitoring my environment, I needed to breath and get out before my last little one arrived. Apparently that did not matter to him as he walked out the door for HIS night out! No biggie I’d just call my girls to pick me up. That’s when the betrayal really settled in. Apparently they’d all had a discussion without me that it was time for me to enjoy my pregnancy on the couch. My friends, bless their hearts, were just looking out for me, but in a moment where my hormones didn’t belong to me I was hurt. I just wanted to hang out and be a part of the grown up crew before my life changed and everything became about this sweet little person we were waiting on. I needed a reality check.

Reality- I was too pregnant to be out partying. I knew it, I just didn’t want to accept it. I’d made a life decision and I wanted everyone around me to accommodate that decision. Yeah, I can be a little selfish. As a pregnant mama I had to realize that just because I couldn’t be out with my girls didn’t mean we were not friends, friendships change and that’s okay. So, I settled into my comfy clothes and shoes, grabbed a good book/tv remote/cell and partied right there in the house. What did my friends do? They still went out that night! But they made sure to plan activities that would include me and my belly. See that’s what really matters in friendships, that you make sure you all are growing together, loving on each other, and taking care of each other. I’m grateful I didn’t have to feel like I was being left behind.

Don’t forget your friends! Maybe she’s not pregnant, but has something else going on that could change your friendship, don’t count her out. We need each other, to support each other, to share secrets with someone who knows you and your heart. How has a decision you have made or your friends have made change the dynamics of your relationship? Are you all able to still maintain your friendship?