Do recall when you first brought your child home, that feeling of euphoria because you two were so in love. You could kiss them all day long, touch their little hands and smell, the smell of a new baby is intoxicating. In that moment you two know that you were meant for each other, you belong together. The love you share is undeniable and you both know it. I love those days, the days when mom is the child’s whole world. We may joke about not knowing any other name but mommy or how many times our kids can scream mommy and want nothing, but those early days, years are the best, because that initial love is a love like no other.
I enjoy these moments with Anissa now, every morning before I leave to go to work she reminds me that she needs some suga, I can’t wait to kiss those fat cheeks. She wants to be around me, she loves her mama. The other night I realized that those sweet little arms find their way around my neck around midnight. The squeeze was so tight I woke up for fear of an attacker (I’d just watched American Horror Story), but it was her, she was comfortable and I was choking. Who cares, I felt all the love in that little embrace. My son, Jamiel is that same way still. He loves his mama. He still gives me hugs without me having to tackle him, he checks in on me at night, and if for a moment he thinks I’m struggling he is my knight in shining armor, always ready to assist. These are joyous times, times I will cherish forever, because one day all this euphoric love will turn into something else, something we parents dread….The Adult Child!!!!!
I don’t recall the moment my oldest, Symone, turned into a three headed, fire breathing, blue fur, green nail monster. I remember a time when she always wanted to be with me. We hung out, we talked, we laughed, and we enjoyed and loved on each other. Now I know my daughter loves me and will defend me to no end but, that love at first sight feeling is GONE (lol). Now there is this creature who’s fighting daily for its independence yet still needs me to rescue it. If you follow me then you witnessed it before in, Mommy, I’m Grown!, this creature grabs my heart yanks it out of my chest, tosses it, and is having target practice on a regular basis. Okay I’ll admit I’m being VERY dramatic (VERY), but if you’re at this stage in the relationship with your children I think you can understand. At some point you are no longer the main attraction to them. Other things creep in like friends, other adults, hobbies, significant others, and whatever else is trending, you are no longer the hot topic in their life. That great love affair that started fizzles. *tear*
What is a mom to do? So far I’m adapting to raising an adult. We are never truly done raising our children. I may no longer be the center of her world, but I know that at the end of the day when the creature is quiet, she falls back in love with me. Here’s a tip, our children change, time changes, trends change, be open to the possibilities of things, be positive, and embrace the new way your child is learning to love. Everything won’t always be rose colored, but I promise if you remain open you will see some rainbows.
How are you handling your child seeking their independence? Do you feel like the love is gone? Leave a comment their maybe someone out there in your predicament needing some emotional strength.