1. Peace and calm in the house. Every mom has a dream, that dream is that they will come home to a clean house that is quiet and peaceful. That all her children will be in harmony with one another.
   a. What you give: music blaring, food on fire in the kitchen, fighting with your siblings.
   b. Solution: Sit down, keep quiet.
2.  A meal she does not have to cook that is edible
   a. What you give: Your version of Top Chef gone wrong.
   b. Solution: Keep it simple, if all you can make is eggs, just make eggs mom will love it.
3.  A hot bath or shower.
   a. What you give: COLD WATER! You, yourself will take a long leisurely shower and use up all the hot water, when I go to get in the tub, there’s a ring of dirt and no hot water.
   b. Solution: Stay funky all day so that I can take a nice, long, hot bath
4. Clean laundry.
   a. What you will give: All kids and some grown men do this, the smell test. If it doesn’t smell funky you will where it 90 more time, then when mom finally gets it, the smell of death is all over it.
   b. Solution: Febreze, don’t just drop that musty shirt down the laundry, give mom a floral scent to go with it or better yet, do your own laundry on your designated laundry day
5. To be able to use the restroom alone (THIS IS A BIG ONE)
   a. What you will give: you will stand outside the door talking to mom, singing to mom, arguing with your sibling, requesting permission, knocking on the door
   b. Solution: LEAVE MOM ALONE! Make the restroom a territory in the house where mom can have a moment of peace. (moms don’t abuse the territory treaty)
6. To walk in a store and not have you ask for something
   a. What you will give: You won’t give anything, you will expect mom to purchase all the random things you place in the cart and when she doesn’t you’ll give her a hard time.
   b. Solution: Get a job, do your chores, earn some money, that way you can buy your own stuff. And for you all under the working age, just close your eyes while we’re in the store.
7. For you to do your chores without having to be reminded
   a. What you will give: You will either only do half the job or you will act like you don’t know how to do it
   b. Solution: Clean up the mess so mom can get off your case, and then we will all live happily ever after
8. For the toilet seat to be put down (BOYS & GROWN MEN)
   a. What you will give: you’ll just continue to leave the toilet seat up because you will figure she should look back before she sits down anyway
   b. Solutions: Daughters, help your mom, super glue the toilet seat down
9. For all legos all over the world to be picked up off the floor
   a. What you will give: you will build the fort just like the one on the lego box, but there will be at least 500 pieces leftover that you were probably supposed to use, instead you take the fort and scatter the pieces everywhere.
   b. Solution: Buy mom a good pair of shoes that are lego resistant
10. For you to even out the number of times you call out mom, with the number of times you call out dad.
    a. What you will give: you will ask your dad a question and he will give you an answer, but because mom is all knowing you will hunt her down, especially in the bathroom, to ask her
    b. Solution: There isn’t one moms are all knowing, we just have to deal with it.

Just a few thoughts for your mother’s day shopping spree. We still love your macaroni art and CASH is always welcome.  We love you and thanks for making us moms!  It’s all in love and laughter.