Well, this whole Being Nanekia thing has taken a life of its own. At first it started out about Being Mary Jane, but now, since the show is on sabbatical, I’m my own Mary Jane and so it’s about me, plain old Nanekia. In recent conversations I’ve been having, people have made mention that they admire my confidence. This threw me completely off guard, in no way, shape, or form did I think I was giving off this vibe. I always say it’s just me being me, if that equals confidence then so be it. As I have developed the blog I’ve become aware of the fact that maybe I do exude a little confidence and I didn’t even know it. So here are my 5 reasons I exude confidence I didn’t know I had…
1. I believe in myself
There was a point in my life where I thought I had to make sure everyone around me felt encouraged, felt like I had their back, they could depend on me. In return I expected the same things from them. When I didn’t get it I felt confused. Why were they not able to believe in me the way I believed in them. Luckily with each new day you are granted new mercies and one day I woke up. Why did I need anyone to believe in me or my dreams, I believe in me and my dreams. I made up my mind and told myself daily that if no one else believed in me, I believe in me. The power in those words fueled a fire within me and I felt unstoppable. Whenever I decided to do something, I did it, with no regrets. I believed I harness a power that had been laying dormant in me and once the beast awoke there was no going back. So there you have it I BELIEVE IN ME!
2. Others are watching me
By others, I mean those little people I gave birth to. I can’t preach to them self-love if I’m not showing them that I love myself. You have to be a living example every day of how you want your children to be. We sometimes attempt to pour into them, when we have nothing to pour because we ourselves have empty cups. Children pick-up on things and we tend to think they have no clue. Guess what?! They are watching you in silence my friend and they learn from you. You are the foundation for how they will build and mold their own confidence. I love myself and live in that love every day. If that’s confidence take that as #2.
3. I like myself
My grandma always told us that God commands that we love everybody, with that being said, you don’t have to like everybody. I like who I am as a person. Now you may say that some people don’t follow the command to love and that’s cool, but I know I love me. For me, to genuinely like yourself as a person you have to embrace everything that you are, flaws and all. So what if there’s a stretch mark here and there or grays sprouting up everywhere. As I say I never was one to skinny dip, I chunky dunk. I like every little roll of flesh, moles, freckles placed on this body. This may sound arrogant, but I just like being around myself. Hey, that’s just how I feel. I crack myself up and me and this personality get along very well. I look in the mirror every day and I’m proud of the person I see. I can’t wait to see what we get into each day. I like where she’s going and I can’t wait until she gets there and embarks on something new. Hey call that #3. Confidence, making a conscious decision to like yourself.
4. I embrace the whole picture (forgive the language)
In a conversation with my buddy Shadae she explains it perfectly: Some people will walk through a rain forest and they will observe all the beautiful scenery, enjoy all the sounds and smells. While doing this they look down in the road and it appears that something has shitted right there in the middle of the road, despite being grossed out they don’t become fixated on the one thing that appears to be negative. Others will walk through that same rain forest see all the greatness the other person saw, notice the shit and stay fixated the entire time on the shit, they can’t get past the negative. Me, I’m stepping over the shit so that I can enjoy the moment! I’m not always in a positive mood, but for the most part I try to see the good or at least a laugh in everything. Confidence is knowing, SHIT HAPPENS and sometimes you gotta get over it.
5. What is meant for me I KNOW is meant for me
My relationship with God is just that, MY relationship. I have complete and total faith that whatever God has written in the book of life for my story is what is truly meant just for me. My God tells me in His word not to stress about it because He’s already taken care of everything. Confidence, knowing that a power greater than you is working for your greater good so you can gon and brush your shoulder off.
John 16: 31 “Do you now believe?”Jesus replied. 32“A time is coming and in fact has come when you will be scattered, each to your own home. You will leave me all alone. Yet I am not alone, for my Father is with me.
33 “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”
Matthew 6: 25 “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes?26Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?27Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life ?
28 “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin.29Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these.30If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith?31So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’32For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them.33But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.34Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
And there you have it, I just trust me to be me and that my friends is Confidence!