Sibling Rivalry

So, let’s just say I come from a really awesome talented family.  It’s not a secret, we all have an arsenal of blessings that have allowed us to showcase our talents on a level of platforms that most don’t have the opportunity to do.  I am very blessed to say my adventures in expressing my talents have been notably with my sister, Esha, on most occasions.  We are two very different people, with STRONG opinions about what we believe to be right and wrong.  If you know either of us then you know we are truly passionate about all the opportunities offered us, you also know that hell rains down when we get into it (that’s just the way it is).

NikkEsha2If you know one of us, then more than likely you know both of us.  Growing up, teenage years, this was beyond annoying.  Who always wants their little sister around or to always be affiliated with her?  She was really a jerk back then.  Growing up you expect that you and your siblings won’t always get along.  I was grown she was still a kid, I moved out, she tried to follow.  At that time as her big sister I could not fully appreciate her annoyance.  We had some knockdown drag out fights.  My poor parents bless their hearts, were always preaching, all you have is each other.  Growing up in the same house that did not sink in.  I think we could not fully appreciate the magnitude of being the only people for each other when we were both trying to identify who we were as individuals.  I truly don’t believe people saw us separately, NikkiEsha was one combined name, if you caught the attention of one the other was not far from her.  We are not twins but it felt like we were always the same person because people never seemed to be able to accept one without the other.  This caused major issues growing up for us because we had to fight, not with the outside world, but with each other to make sure our personalities shined through.  The only time this happened was in school, I will not give the details, but let’s just say one of us was really good at the school thing and the other not so much, lol.  It was a struggle for our relationship as kids to embrace each other and prove that we were not in competition but wanted to be recognized as individuals.

NikkiEshaAs we grew older and really started to come into our own as woman, we made the conscious decision to work together.  We had both gone off and done our own things, but what our parents always told us held true, we were connected always and forever.  My sister is my business partner.  We feed ideas off of each other, we argue, we cry, and we argue some more.  At this point in our lives it does not feel forced and we are recognized as individuals for our achievements.  The question we get now is do we feel like we are in competition.  If you’ve ever meant us both then you would understand why we get this question.  1.  Two very confident and stubborn women, 2.  INTELLIGENT, 3.  We still argue, 4.  We both are VERY good at anything we attempt, so people would expect some form of rivalry.  Let me put this to sleep, am I competing against my sister, NO!  I am my sister’s keeper!  One of my greatest joys is to watch her shine, whether I am standing behind her at the podium, sitting in the audience or simply serving on her team.  I’ve watched her grow into someone I can truly admire.  Is she still my annoying little sister yes, but I love her and appreciate her, more than she will ever know.

NikkEsha3Now people may think bull.  All siblings have some form of competition.  You are entitled to your opinion, but we know that the only competition that either of us truly has to face looks back us in the mirror daily.  Credit our parents, we are equally spoiled rotten, lol.  But seriously it took for us to build separately, to come into our own, to take other people’s opinions/feedback out of the equation before we could truly appreciate the talent of the other.

So what’s the point of this, it’s to say parents, family, friends,  step back, let your children develop the people they are going to become.  The world already lumps us into categories that we have to fight to get out of daily.  Don’t let this be the fight at home as well.  Encourage your children to be individuals and praise all their achievements.  Don’t let family or friends put your children in a situation that would make them feel as though they competing.  Competition does not breed excellence.

The problem with competition is that it takes away the requirement to set your own path, to invent your own method, to find a new way.~Seth Godin


You have competition every day because you set such high standards for yourself that you have to go out every day and live up to that.~Michael Jordan

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