How many times do you find yourself flipping out, and then apologizing for your actions? Life happens, as much as we try to plan and prepare, life hits us and we must learn to prepare for these moments. We all suffer from various forms of stress, children’s other parents, parent’s health, our health, employment, finances, and the list can go on and on. At some point in time, as organized as all moms are, stress rears its ugly head and we must deal with it. Stress- that dreaded moment life catches up to you or catches you off guard and you are forced to deal with your issues. At least that’s my definition of stress. But, if you want to get all technical about it here’s what dictionary.com suggest stress is: (noun) the physical pressure, pull or other force exerted on one thing by another; physical, mental, or emotional strain or tension. What does dictionary.com know?! None of those definitions describe clearly the stress I’ve been trying to manage. But, someone somewhere decided this was enough to determine what stress really is. WHATEVER!!!
Why do I stress? There are a few reasons: 1. I want to appear to have it all together, 2. I need more money and time, 3. Fear of screwing up one of my kids, and 4. worrying about my family’s future, oh and life, just plain old everyday life. Now let me tell you, I’m not of the edge everyday about stress, I don’t allow it to consume me, but there are times however where I become overwhelmed and stress creeps in. I use to be ashamed to admit I was stressed. The world tells us that moms know how to deal with everything and that’s why we are so heavily relied on. If I can’t deal then I must suck as a mom. THE DEVIL IS A LIE! I’m a great mom, at least I try my best to be every day. I may not cure world hunger, but I’ve fed my family. I’ve learned to appreciate and deal with my stress. What stresses one person out may not stress another person out, there’s nothing wrong with that. We all handle life differently. While the relationship between stress and I remains lopsided, I’m clearly standing my ground rebuking stress.
Again, what stresses you may not stress another. No judgements, we all have triggers, no one person’s stress matters more than someone else’s. So, all I can do is offer to you what I do to relieve stress:
- PRAY! My connection to God through prayer is my safe place. Some people won’t understand what you go through and how it affects you. But knowing that I have a connection to a higher power that hears and cares for me always calms my mind.
- My Village. I love the people I have invited into my life and the lives of my family. We can eat, laugh, cry, fight, and most importantly talk/comfort. Getting things out in the open always helps. (if you see me stressing offer some chocolate, I’ll be alright)
- This is why my water bill is so high or because the city hasn’t figured out the benefits of water, either way water helps and cost me. I can go in the bathroom, close the door and let the steam clouds have their way. I can also sink into a steamy hot bath and dream of drifting off to an island where my favorite drink is always ready. (I’m sure drinking water helps as well)
- Looking good. I don’t know what is it about dressing up and getting my hair done, but this does the trick for me. TRUTH (for me at least) if I look good I feel good and that helps to relax me.
- WINE!!! You read the title, so of course wine was going to make an appearance. A nice glass of red wine (Dornfelder, if you’d like to gift), my journal/pen, and a quiet night and the stress just melts away. I’m not saying overdo it and develop a problem (I’d be writing another blog to help you), but for me it loosens me up and the writing allows my emotions to flow and I feel better. (PSA: If you or someone you know has a problem with wine being their sole source of stress relief contact http://www.aa.org/.)
At the end of the day life will happen. Sometimes we will be prepared and sometimes we won’t. The important thing to remember is to not stress. What will stressing add to your days anyway?! So my suggestions, sit back, say your prayers, make your peace, and pour a glass.