So let’s start this conversation….I am a proud single mom. Let me define that for you because this topic has gotten me in hot water before. I am currently in a loving relationship with an awesome man, who has my heart (you’ll meet him later I’m sure) but according to the government and a few old ladies from the church, until he puts a ring on it there’s a big fat scarlet “S” on my chest. So for anybody who saw the single and got excited, sorry this lady is taken! But back to the topic at hand, so society labels me as a single mom, I’m not a wife, so my only other option is to claim this. As I thought about this topic I thought about all the negatives that go along with this title. “People” can come up with their own stories for why you are a single parent in their heads without hearing your story or knowing your life. Not all single moms are drama queens, looking for a check, don’t want to work, living off the government as most media would portray us. There’s more to us then our income, how many children we have and whether or not we have a man.
Take for instance my interaction with a few married moms the other day. I’m a proud vision leader for The Single Moms Conference CLE, http://www.singlemomsconferencecleveland.com/ I was so excited to pass out the flyers supporting this event at my son’s school. Why wouldn’t I be, what better place to start then where my kids spends most of his time. I’d already spoke to the assistants about leaving some flyers and they both at the time agreed. I opened the office doors, did my usual greetings, speaking to all in the room and happily handed flyers to both assistants. The first was excited asked a few questions and said she would hand out the flyers. The second however, let’s just say not as excited. As I approached the second assistance whom I’ve known since my oldest child attended the school appeared to be offended. She was having a conversation with a teacher and I thought I’d interrupted, I apologized and quickly handed her the flyers, few to her and one to the teacher standing there. All they saw was single and I heard the gasp, they quickly handed the flyers back to me and exclaimed they were not a part of that group. The look on my face either said bewildered or resting b%&#@ face because they began to explain, they were not single moms, are happily married and wouldn’t wish that on anyone. I thought disease had broken out on my face from the way they looked disgusted as if being a single mom was something they could catch. I could have flipped, I could have given statistics, I could have done a lot more than what I did, I pointed to the young lady sitting in the office waiting to be seen and asked if she was a single mom, she stated yes, I took a flyer out of my purse and handed it to her. I then turned to both ladies and stated there are single moms in your midst, would you mind giving the flyer as an offer of encouragement, thanks! They both nodded and I was out. (GESSSH)
That small but powerful interaction got me thinking. Do people really view single moms in a negative light? I joke about it sometimes, but I guess I was really unaware of the true negative persona people associate with being a single mom. I’m thinking there’s enough going on in the world, enough evil at that to not place another burden on someone who may be trying to do the right thing. I mean I really want to know if people perceive me and other single moms as a burden/slight on society. I think those thoughts crept in for about two seconds before my fierce personality snapped me back into myself. See, when I look in the mirror I don’t just see a single mom, I see: (drum roll please) God-fearing, Prayer Warrior, Confident, Intelligent, Gorgeous, Sassy, Self-aware, Happy, Faith-filled, and Fierce, woman of God. I could go on but I will stop with those few. I don’t see a broken down person, dreading each day, fearing moment to moment. I’m sure I don’t project that either. I have my moments where everything is not smooth and I break, but don’t married moms have those moments too?! I’m just one hot mom out here doing her thang!
So single moms let’s be good and kind to each other. Let’s encourage each other to be great, not to show society but to break the generational curse that stands before us and to make our children proud. Join me and some other HOT MOMS at the Single Moms Conference CLE, http://www.singlemomsconferencecleveland.com/ and watch as we (hair flip) WERK!